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Horny Male Seeks Love: This Northern White Rhino Needs Your Right Swipes on Tinder

RT, Twitter

The most eligible bachelor in the world needs your help.

Sudan, the last male northern white rhino in Kenya, needs a mate. No casual conversations, please — this rhino is dead serious. The survival of his species depends on it.

What’s not to like? YouGov tells us that women think the ideal height for a man is 5”11 — Sudan is just one inch taller. Sure, he could do with hitting the treadmill a few times a week — 5,000 pounds doesn’t look so good in a tuxedo. But Sudan is horny, dashing (the white rhino can run up to 40 km/h), and, at 43 years old, comes with bags of experience.

Read More: These Are The Best Dating Apps To Find Global Citizens

But this is 2017. Animal reservations just aren’t the place they used to be in the hunt for true love. Global Citizen is no stranger to Tinder. But now, with the help of Ol Pejeta Conservancy, Sudan is now online with his very own profile.

Sudan doesn’t have an issue standing out. Confusing group pics? Not a problem — he’s the last male of his species. Exotic travel shots? Easy — Sudan loves the outdoors. If you’ve got a thing for vegans, that’s cool too — all rhinos are herbivores. Just make sure you clear your schedule: rhino courtship can often last between 5-20 days.

"I'm one of a kind. No seriously, I'm the last male white rhino on planet earth," his bio reads. "I don't mean to be too forward, but the fate of my species literally depends on me. I perform well under pressure. I like to eat grass and chill in the mud. No problems. 6 ft tall and 5,000 pounds if it matters."

Sudan lives under armed guard with the only other northern white rhinos in existence — females Satu, 17, and Najin, 27. The northern white rhino must breed, or it will become extinct. But unfortunately, due to Sudan’s old age, he cannot get them pregnant. Not that they haven’t tried.

"In human terms, [Sudan is] probably about 95 years old," Richard Vigne, CEO of Ol Pejeta, told NPR's All Things Considered, "so he's incapable of normal breeding."

Fertility treatment will cost approximately $9,000,000. It’s the very first time IVF has ever been attempted with rhinos. Within five years of the treatment, scientists hope to have breeded a crash — the word used to describe a group of rhinos — of 10.

Sudan’s sperm will be used to fertilize the eggs of Satu and Najin, and will be implanted in a surrogate southern white rhino — a much more common species. But time is running out, and Ol Pejeta urgently need donations. 

"There's always that fear. He's old, he might die soon," Vigne continues. "As long as the demand for rhino horn in the Far East persists, there will always be an ever-present threat."

According to Reuters Africa, poachers can sell a white rhino horn for $50,000 per kilo — “making them more valuable than gold or cocaine.” In countries like Vietnam, it’s believed that drinking powder from the horn can cure cancer. It’s even used as a party drug — described by one news site as “the alcoholic drink of millionaires”. In March, a southern white rhino was shot and killed in a zoo in France, believed to be the first instance of rhino poaching in a European zoo. Its horn was removed with a chainsaw. 

Read More: Poachers Killed a White Rhino for Its Horn — in the Middle of a Paris Zoo

Sudan, Satu, and Najin are in danger. But as Sudan’s Tinder profile hit 190 countries in over 40 different languages, the world started swiping. Within 24 hours of launching the campaign, the conservancy site crashed, and donations continue to flood in. 

Sudan is now the world’s most popular rhino. Let's give him the Happy Ever After he deserves.